My Life As I knew it

Hello, my name is Nikki. I just wanted to let you know a little bit about me. I graduated from college (TWU in Denton, TX) in May 2009 with a B.S. in Biology. School has always been easy for me. It's one of the few things  I'm inherently good at. I guess that's how I've always defined myself, as an academic. I think that may be why I feel so incomplete now. I miss school. I was accepted into a Physician Assistant program in TN. However I was unable to attend the program because despite my best efforts, I simply couldn't afford to move to TN at that time. Unfortunately I quit my job to go off to school and now I have been unhappily unemployed for the last 6 months. I have been unsuccessfully searching for a job... any job. I find it extremely sad and frustrating when a college graduate can't even get hired at Taco Cabana. Yes, I went there and countless other fast food establishments, as well as restaurants, retail stores, hotels, doctors offices, hospitals, etc. With bills and student loans to pay, one can simply not afford to be picky. Online or in person, people are simply not willing to hire a college grad with limited work experience. Quite unfortunate. Well on to my love life...or lack there of. I am painfully single. But this is nothing new for me. I was the nerdy girl in high school who read books while walking in the hallways. I know, I know, but before you judge me I was also on the Varsity soccer team and in theater. Anyway I didn't go to parties, sleepovers, or anything like that. Well at least not until college. I decided to go 500 miles away from home...and I think it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I had the time of my life at Bethel University in Jackson, TN. It was here at age 18 that I had my first relationship(I use that term loosely). At age 19, I had my first boyfriend, my first and only(so far) serious relationship. My first "big love". Unfortunately I'm still in love with him 5 years later. He lives in GA and I live in TX. We've been doing this on and off "friends with benefits" thing for the last 3 years. We see each other 2-3 times a year(take turns going to see one another). I last saw him 2/29/2011. His name is Taurean and I don't think I'll ever completely get over him or love anyone as much as I love him. So it was the typical tragic romance. Girl loves boy, boy loves girl, boy lies to girl and breaks girls' heart. Boy continues to lead girl on for years...and stupid girl follows him around by the nose. Continuously forgiving every indiscretion and settling for less than she deserves simply because she doesn't want to lose the most amazing feeling she's ever experienced. Girl knows that boy is no longer in love with her and accepts that, but still hopes that one day he'll fall back in love with her. Pathetic, right? I know, I'm trying to get a grip. But life is messy and I'm trying diligently to clean mine up. So that's my life, as I knew it anyway. Now my days are filled with job-hunting, reading, twitter, Netflix, music, Robert Pattinson and Paul Wesley. I know I have no right to complain especially when people have real problems. I'm very blessed to have a sister that provides me with food and shelter as well as a family that loves and supports me. So thanks for checking out my blog. 


Needlessly Nameless,

Nikki